missionx (missionx) wrote in saiyukiwriters,

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The Schism by Mission X

Hello, I'm new here! This is a Vingette about Sanzo and his feelings towards Gojyo.
Rated R- language, Alcohol..etc
cross posted at Love_or _Death
ps, I can NOT figure out why there are 4 links attached to this.
Oh well I will figure out LJ eventually.

"The Schism"

Sanzo couldn't help but let out a sigh in frustration. He quietly wondered what in hell was wrong with him
He could not seem to settle down today, the newspaper was uninteresting, cards or Mah Jong seemed stale and well, there was no way he was going to engage in conversation with any of these idiots.
Sanzo felt himself jerk back to attention. He had caught himself doing it again, damn it  why did he keep watching that disgusting water sprite?
Something about Gojyo kept demanding his attention. And it was annoying.
Gojyo grinned on the inside, he had caught Sanzo's clandestine glances.
And the several times Gojyo had met the monk's eyes, there was an unguarded moment shared between them. Electric, intense, and fleeting: only a few seconds before Sanzo's eyes went dark behind their usual wall.
But Gojyo had definitely seen it, and there was no going back now. He needed to experience for himself what was smoldering beneath the surface of those limpid purple eyes.
And so he waited for the right opportunity.
Sanzo's heart skipped a beat when Goyjo brushed his fingers against the monk's at dinner whilst passing the salt.
To steady himself Sanzo drank yet another cup of sake.
He had promised himself after the death of his one and only guardian, no one would ever make him feel any type of emotion at all, but damn it if Goku hadn't crawled into his life. All he needed was another person to fucking consider.
From across the table, Gojyo could see that Sanzo was getting rather tipsy.
Gojyo had no illusions about Sanzo. This was no easy conquest, even drunk of his ass Sanzo was not going to give in easily.
Give in to what, his mind nagged, he narrowed his eyes mulling over just what he wanted from the corrupt monk. Gojyo let his eyes trail up Sanzo's body to his face.
Long delicate neck, wide mouth, large purple eyes, and a crown of golden hair, damn, Sanzo had a pretty face, why had he never noticed before?
Probably, Goyjo told himself, Because his awful personality ruins his good looks.
I wonder, thought Gojyo, How hard will I need to push to see what lies beneath Sanzo's external walls.
A smirk graced his lips.
Sanzo could feel how drunk he was, but he made no move to stop himself, he needed to send himself into sweet oblivion tonight or he was never going to sleep.
So he drank yet another cup.
As his eyes swept to the person sitting across from him at the table, he silently wished to all the gods that Gojyo was anywhere but right here.
Involuntarily their eyes met sending a chill down Sanzo's spine.
But was it a prickle of lust or a reaction of revulsion? The monk couldn't distinguish between the two any more.
Gojyo gave Sanzo a half smile and said "Maybe we should call it a night, ne Sanzo?"
He did not trust himself to speak, knowing that his words would be slurred, so Sanzo nodded his head in uncharacteristic agreeability.
He felt Gojyo's arms around his thin shoulders, he smelled the cologne that Gojyo always wore, and he felt Gojyo's hair tickle his face. And Sanzo couldn't believe how he was letting this happen to him, he felt like he was drowning in his feelings.
Unthinkable and yet..
Gojyo fumbled at the door of Sanzo's room.
The monk was a dead weight in his arms and Gojyo supposed he must have passed out. He flicked on the bedside light when he entered the room, and placed Sanzo gently on the bed.
Gojyo watched the angelic face intently and as he pulled his arms away, the monk's eyes fluttered softly under his lids before opening slowly. Large, luminous violet eyes stared into his.
Sanzo did not utter a single word.
Gojyo cupped Sanzo's chin and noticed how the monk immediately stiffened and directed his gaze straight to the ceiling.
The moment was broken-- but for a second, the priest had seemed to sanctify Gojyo's intent with an air of quiet expectation.
Gojyo let go and sat back.
Sanzo began to tremble ever so lightly, and inwardly cursed himself, Gojyo leaned against the wall and quietly waited.
"I.." Sanzo began haltingly, squeezing his eyes shut, "I can't do this, Gojyo..not with you, and not with anyone."
Fuck! Why had he let those stupid whiny words slip from his mouth?
Sanzo turned and faced the wall. He heard Gojyo sigh.
"Sanzo-samma" Gojyo's voice was low and soft, silky like velvet, he let his hands creep onto the monk's back...
"Gojyo", Sanzo whispered, "Please... leave"
Sanzo dared not turn around, and he felt the other hesitating, but after a time, Sanzo heard the door open and close
And he heard the footfalls recede
And he felt the warm spot where Gojyo was just a moment before
And he knew he could never climb beyond the schism in his heart.
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